Have you ever been halfway through doing something incredibly stupid and thought, “Why am I like this?” Like, maybe you’re trying to carry 17 grocery bags in one trip because a second trip to the car feels like a personal failure. Or you’re rearranging your living room for the third time in a week, convinced this is the time it’s finally going to feel right.
That’s me. That’s all of us, probably. We’re obsessed with doing things the hard way, even when the easier path is staring us in the face.
You know what I realized recently? I spend so much time trying to brute-force solutions to problems that don’t even need solving. Like, the other day, I was trying to open this ridiculous jar of pickles, and instead of grabbing the grippy thing that would’ve popped it right open, I spent five minutes running it under hot water, banging it against the counter, and twisting it with all the strength I could muster. Why? Because my brain thought this is the way we do it.
It’s not just jars, though. It’s everything. I mean, think about your job, your relationships, your hobbies. How many of those things are stuck in neutral because you’re too damn stubborn to admit the way you’re doing them isn’t working? But hey, it’s fine. Just keep trying the same thing and hope for a different result, right? (That’s definitely not the definition of insanity or anything.)
We all do this. We stick with what we know, even if it’s not great, because trying something new feels like admitting we were wrong. And being wrong is The Worst. Nobody wants to feel like they wasted time, even if it’s obvious the time is already gone.
Here’s the thing that’s hardest to swallow: we’re the ones getting in our own way. Not the economy, not the algorithm, not the fact that Carol from marketing can’t use a shared doc to save her life. Us. We’re the ones who refuse to stop, look around, and ask, “Hey, is there maybe a better way to do this?”
I was thinking about that the other day while doing something equally as dumb as the pickle jar incident (don’t ask). And it hit me—half the battles we fight are battles we invented in the first place. Like, nobody told us we had to do things this way. We just decided, at some point, that this was the system, and then we locked ourselves into it. Why? Who knows. Probably because humans are just slightly more advanced squirrels, trying to build nests out of whatever’s around.
What’s wild is how often the solution is right there. It’s like when you’re solving a jigsaw puzzle and that one piece you’ve been looking for is literally in your hand, but you’re too distracted to notice.
I think about this a lot now—how many times I’ve been holding the answer without realizing it. How often I’ve let stubbornness keep me stuck because I’d rather stick with what I know than admit I need to pivot. It’s kind of horrifying when you add it up. The projects that could’ve succeeded, the conversations that could’ve been different, the times I could’ve just grabbed the damn grippy thing and opened the jar.
Here’s the big truth I’ve landed on: change isn’t hard because it’s complicated. It’s hard because it makes us feel stupid. And nobody wants to feel stupid, even if it’s the first step to finally getting unstuck.
If this feels weirdly personal, good. It’s personal for me too. I’m not writing this from some mountaintop of wisdom, looking down and shouting instructions like, “Just pivot!” I’m writing it from the bottom of the hill, clutching a broken pickaxe and wondering why I didn’t bring better tools.
If you’re reading this thinking, “Wow, this guy sounds mad,” yeah, a little. Mostly at myself. But if I’m yelling at you too, it’s because I’ve been you. We’ve all been you. We’re all in this mess together, and the only way out is to stop, take a breath, and ask, “What if I just tried something else?”
Oh, and if you want to see me ramble about this in a slightly more coherent way, there’s a video for that. You’ll know it when you see it.
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