You ever get that sinking feeling that you’re the only one in the room who doesn’t get it? Everyone else nodding along, taking notes, throwing out ideas while you’re sitting there wondering what language they’re even speaking?
Yeah. Same.
I used to think admitting that made me weak. Like somehow everyone else just knew things I didn’t, and the smartest move was to keep my mouth shut and figure it out later. Except that never worked. It just made me look like I was on top of things … until I wasn’t.
The Art of the Bluff
There’s this unspoken rule in a lot of workplaces: Always look like you know what you’re doing. Fake it till you make it, right? Except the problem with that is, eventually, someone’s going to call your bluff. And let me tell you, when they do, it’s brutal.
I once spent three weeks working on a presentation for a project I thought I understood. Didn’t ask any questions. Didn’t show my work. Just went into a hole and came out with what I thought was a masterpiece.
Turns out I’d completely misunderstood the assignment.
The whole thing got scrapped. Not reworked. Not tweaked. Just trashed.
That was the moment I realized something: pretending you know what you’re doing doesn’t make you look competent. It makes you look avoidant. Like you’d rather tank a project than admit you needed help.
Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?
It’s not like anyone ever said, “Hey, if you don’t understand something, just wing it.” But somehow that’s what we internalize. Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s the way corporate culture tells us to always look “confident,” even if we’re not.
Or maybe it’s just ego. The same ego that makes me refuse to ask for directions when I’m lost. Or try to assemble IKEA furniture without the manual. (Spoiler: It never ends well.)
Let’s Be Real: Nobody Knows Everything
Here’s the thing: even the smartest person in the room doesn’t know everything. They’re just better at asking questions. Seriously, the best managers, the most impressive leaders—they’re the ones who aren’t afraid to look dumb for five seconds if it means getting clarity.
But most of us? We’d rather waste five hours pretending we’ve got it under control.
Why? Because we think the risk of looking clueless outweighs the reward of getting it right. And we’re wrong.
The Silent Cost of Not Asking
Think about the time you’ve wasted trying to figure something out on your own. The projects that spiraled because you didn’t want to ask for help. The moments where you could have just said, “Hey, can you walk me through this?” but didn’t.
It adds up.
And worse, it creates this perception that you don’t care enough to get it right. That you’d rather struggle in silence than admit you need a hand.
So, What’s the Point?
Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe there isn’t one.
Maybe this is just me admitting that I’ve been there. That I’ve fumbled through projects, avoided asking for help, and tanked my own reputation more times than I’d like to admit.
But I guess if there’s a takeaway, it’s this: You’re not fooling anyone by pretending you’ve got it all figured out. And you don’t have to.
So next time you’re lost—at work, in life, whatever—just ask.
It’s less embarrassing than screwing it up. Trust me.
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