Here’s a thought: what if not knowing is the point?
We spend so much of our lives chasing answers. What’s next? What do I want? Who am I supposed to be? It’s exhausting. And honestly? I’m not convinced the answers even matter half the time.
I think about this a lot when I’m stuck in that restless space—the one where nothing feels right, but I can’t articulate what’s wrong either. You know the feeling. It’s 2 a.m., you’re staring at the ceiling, and for some reason, you’re replaying a conversation from eight years ago.
It’s a weird space to sit in, but it’s also one of the most honest places you can be.
Because here’s the truth: most of us are just guessing. We’re making it up as we go along, slapping together whatever pieces feel like they might fit and hoping it doesn’t all collapse.
But nobody admits that. We pretend we’ve got it all figured out because the alternative—admitting that we don’t—is terrifying. It’s like standing in the middle of a crowded room and saying, “Hey, does anyone else feel like an imposter?”
And yet, when you finally say it, what happens? People nod. They lean in. They say, “Yeah, me too.”
That’s what’s so wild to me. The thing we’re most afraid to admit is the thing that connects us.
I had this moment not too long ago where I realized I’d been running on autopilot. Doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do—working hard, setting goals, making plans—but none of it felt like mine. It felt like I was following a script I didn’t even write.
So I stopped.
Not in some dramatic “quit my job and live in the woods” kind of way. Just … paused. Took a beat. Let myself sit in the uncertainty for a while without trying to fix it or label it or make sense of it.
And you know what? It was uncomfortable.
There’s this pressure to always be doing. To have a direction, a purpose, a five-year plan. Sitting in the not-knowing feels like failure, but it’s not. It’s just life.
I think about this a lot when people ask me for advice. “How do I find my purpose?” they’ll say. Or, “What’s the secret to success?” And I want to tell them, You’re asking the wrong question.
Because it’s not about finding the answer. It’s about being okay with not having one.
That’s where all the good stuff happens, I think. In the wandering. The messy, chaotic, “what the hell am I doing?” moments.
But nobody wants to talk about that. It doesn’t make for a good story. It doesn’t look pretty on Instagram. People want the clean version—the one where you have a plan, follow it step by step, and end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Except life doesn’t work like that.
So here’s my advice, if you want it (and even if you don’t): stop looking for the answer. Let yourself get lost. Say, “I don’t know” and mean it.
The world won’t end. Nobody will laugh at you. In fact, they’ll probably feel relieved because now they don’t have to pretend either.
I made a video once that touched on some of this—about redefining success and letting go of the fear of failure. If that sounds like something you’d want to hear more about, you can check it out here.
But really, you don’t need a video. Or a blog post. Or a plan. You just need to sit with yourself for a minute and be okay with not knowing.
Because sometimes, not knowing is where the real magic starts.
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